Infertility is like a spectator sport. I feel like I’m the only one in the crowd, watching everyone play, and I’m unqualified to join the team.
So here I am at a brand new clinic, starting all over again. I don’t regret changing clinics. I only regret that I only found out about this Doctor only a short while ago. You have to do what is best for you and if no one is listening to you or taking your concerns seriously… then whats the point in paying extraordinary amounts of money?
Unfortunately IVF is such an expensive undertaking for millions of couples around the world. You are literally spending thousands upon thousands of dollars every two months (depending on how regular you are doing you IVF cycles. I am every two months).
Luckily, Medicare gives a rebate back of almost half of what you pay in total to the clinics but the thing is you still have save up the other half to be able to do another cycle and that is not easy in this day and age for any couple. Unless you or your partner earn extremely well, for the average standard Australian it can take a couple of months to save up the other half.
I had heard about this new Doctor on an IVF forum over a year ago and all the women raved about him online (and a few said he was too abrupt and rude). A friend of mine (who I met online) swore by him and said that he’s known as the ‘baby whisperer’. This new doctor specializes in NKC (natural killer cells) and dealing with women of a certain age (i.e. mature age).
I said to my gorgeous husband, that if we are still going to go head with another cycle then we need to throw EVERYTHING at it. I need to make sure I have covered every base possible. And if that meant more money, then so be it.
This new doctor isn’t cheap. It’s actually going to cost us an extra $5,000.00 or so on top of previous other cycles that we have ever done before. Why so much? Well, this doctor runs more blood and internal tests and also, he runs a genetic testing on the embryos (which why it adds to be slightly more expensive).
What the genetic testing does is that it tests the embryos for any genetic problems as to why its not implanting or any health issues of the embryos.
Our recent first appointment with him went like this:
“OK… we have five scenarios here and you both need to choose which one you are doing to do. 1) if you don’t end up having children, you can have sex all over the house whenever you want to, 2) you can adopt children, 3) you can continue doing IVF using your own eggs, 4) you can use donor eggs which I them on tap in Greece or 5) you can go on living your lives and travel the world. Which one do you want to choose?”
Both my husband and the Doctor looked over at me, and without having to think about it, I automatically said, “option number three… use my own eggs”.
The doctor nodded his head and then said, “OK. If you are going to be using your own eggs then you need to know this: because of your age, there is a lower chance of success rates. It doesn’t mean that you are not able to get pregnant, it just means its a little bit more harder.”
TWO of the TESTS RECOMMENDED
DQ ALPHA GENE:
Each individual has two DQ Alpha genes, one is derived from their mother and one from their father. Most successful partnering involves with the two partners with different DQ Alpha Genes.
For it to be successful, you need to be incompatible. So this is the one time you want something in your relationship to be incompatible! 🙂
EMBRYO GENETIC TESTING:
PGD (preimplantation genetic diagnosis) involves removing a cell from an IVF embryo to test it for a specific genetic condition (cystic fibrosis, for example) before transferring the embryo to the uterus.
PGS (preimplantation genetic screening) is the proper term for testing for overall chromosomal normalcy in embryos.
I replied back, “I know. Let’s just throw everything we can at this cycle and whatever the outcome is… well, we will cross that bridge when we have to.”
So the doctor had my husband and I do extra blood tests. Same sort of blood tests as the other two clinics but he threw in extra tests towards me because of my high NKC levels and also to recheck on my ovarian reserve.
While my husband only did three vials of blood tests, I did a grand total of sixteen. Sixteen! The most I have ever done. How I didn’t feel light or faint is beyond me. We are to come back to see the Doctor in three to four weeks to get the blood test results and to discuss in further detail the upcoming cycle.
Both my husband and I walked out of the meeting feeling relieved. Relieved in the sense that this Doctor was upfront and honest and just didn’t give up the standard crap that everything will be great and we will get our cherished family.
He told it like it is: the truth. There is no guarantee. Yes IVF works but there is no guarantee that it works for everyone, for many different reasons. It’s just that those reasons need to be investigated thoroughly before any cycle should be undertaken so as to not waste important time and money, and add additional heartache onto a couple.
So I continue on taking my herbal supplements, the DHEA and the Melatonin. Continue on eating all fertility based foods and minimising the process foods and sugars. Basically I will continue on doing as what I have been doing for over three years now.
I admit its so tiring and so many times I do just feel like giving up. But my inner voice and heart won’t allow me to give up until I know in my heart of all hearts that I have covered it all and done everything that there is possible.
So now I wait for the next cycle to start in under a month. I’m excited but ever so nervous as I don’t know what it will bring. It feels like this time it’s all going to be different. I don’t know why… I just feel it.
I desperately want that child. To have a baby that has been created in the amazing love by my husband and me… that is a part of us. I painfully want to give my darling husband that child that he so rightly deserves to have so that I can watch him become the amazing father that I know he is able to be and so that he can teach our child (whether it’s a girl or a boy) to play baseball and so that they can watch all of the New York Yankees games together (my husbands all-time favourite baseball team).
I desperately want us to have that beautiful child so we can take them to the zoo, take them to the park, out to family picnics but also take them to see Santa and then watch their excited face on Christmas day when they see all of the presents that Santa has brought for them.
I desperately want to be able to teach my child to speak in portuguese (as I’m portuguese myself) so that they know a second language and also so that I can teach them all about Portugal (as my father had done many a times with me) and where half of their heritage is from and to be proud.
I desperately want to see my mother become a grandmother and get to experience the love and joy from her own grandchild and be happy again.
I desperately want to experience all of that and so much more… I just know that I would be a great mother. I just know it.