• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Instagram
  • Twitter
  • Bloglovin
  • Pinterest
  • Facebook

Style & Life by Susana

Stylish, Classy & oh So Sassy!

  • Fashion
    • Accessories
    • Latests Sales
    • My Style
    • Online Shopping | Let’s Go Shopping
    • Shhhhhh! Don’t Tell My Husband, I Just Had to Buy It
  • Beauty & Skincare
  • Product Reviews
  • Mental Health
  • Lifestyle
    • Blogging
    • Doggy Blog-care
    • FOOD
    • IVF
    • Mind, Body & Soul
    • TRAVEL
      • Geelong (and the Bellarine)
      • Portugal – My Travel Diary
  • Pop Culture
    • 5 Reasons Why You Need to Watch
    • Music: Album Reviews

Menubar Left Area

  • Instagram
  • Twitter
  • Bloglovin
  • Pinterest
  • Facebook

Menubar Right Area

Menubar Left Area

  • Instagram
  • Twitter
  • Bloglovin
  • Pinterest
  • Facebook

Menubar Right Area

mind, body & soul

How to Cope With Toxic Family Members

June 26, 2020

He Kept Saying I Was Getting Crazy but really, He Was Gas-Lighting Me (aka Mind Fucking) | Style & Life by Susana

“When someone is rude and toxic, remember its not about you. It’s a reflection of their inner state.” Bernadette Logue

This might be one of the hardest lessons one can tackle. More often than not we fail to recognize the toxicity within our relationships with the closest members of our family. We get so used to the repetitive pattern of abuse and conflict that it is hard to break free.

But when we finally start noticing the grave effect this types of family relations have on us, it gets easier to start addressing the issue and seeking the required help in order to learn how to best cope with the given situation and still try to preserve some kind of contact with the family member in question.

CREATE SOME BOUNDARIES

The first step in getting out of the circle of abuse is voicing your opinion. You need to pull back and clearly state what it is that you find insulting or abusive in a family members behavior, and make them understand that you are not willing to participate in that kind of relationship anymore.

This is also the hardest step, because you need to hold your ground since a toxic person will do their hardest to convince you that you have misinterpreted the situation, or that something like that will never happen again. But you should know better, you are now familiar with this behavioral pattern and you know that it cannot change on its own, you need to be the one to incite change.

And finally, if you feel all your complains have fallen on deaf ears you should take things a bit further and take yourself out of that relationship by limiting the time you spend with that person.

How to Boost Energy Levels Successfully | Style & Life by Susana

LEARN HOW TO BE ASSERTIVE

This might be the most difficult thing for a person who has been abused by a toxic family member. You get so used to being bullied and orders around that you actually start feeling guilty when you want to stand up for yourself. And because of this a lot of people stay in this type of relationships instead of exiting them.

In most cases, these types of communicational issues tend to appear in parent-child relationships but also between spousals. And as long as one side stays silent and doesn’t learn how to become assertive they not very likely to change.

However, there are those more serious situations when a person is afraid of their spouse, and feels trapped, in those cases it would be perhaps wiser to contact trusted divorce lawyers who can help mediate the whole situation and if there is no chance of repairing it, aid in ending it without traumatizing either side. So don’t be afraid to speak up, there will always be someone to help you voice your concerns in a safe environment.

DON’T LET THE GUILT TAKE OVER

When trying to change a toxic relationship more often than not the person at fault will do their best to make you feel guilty for noticing that something is wrong and for wanting it to change.

In this case, it is essential that you shed that guilt. It is quite clear that a toxic family member wants to keep the abusive pattern of behavior going, it is something that suits them and that they feel comfortable with. And guilt is a great weapon.

So the best way to fight it is by rationalizing the issue. There is no reason for you to feel guilty for wanting to change a bad situation. Remember that. You have the right to be happy as much as the other person, and you should fight for that right without being guilted into submission.

And in case you think you can’t do this alone make sure you get adequate help either from friends and family or certified psychologists who will provide you with the right tools to combat the unnecessary guilt you keep feeling.

ACCEPT THAT THERE IS NO CURE

Yes, this is hard to hear, but it is the truth Some people are unwilling to change, and believe that their way is the best.

This means that whatever you do won’t be enough. So in these types of situations the best way is to accept it, limit the time spent with that person and make sure that the boundaries you have set are not moved.

Most people have that burning desire to fix things, including other people, but in cases where this is not an option, it is important to know when to give up, adjust the boundaries and simply take yourself out of the equation. Essentially save yourself from that situation and that family member.

He Kept Saying I Was Getting Crazy but really, He Was Gas-Lighting Me (aka Mind Fucking) | Style & Life by Susana

Now you have the tools to cope with toxic family members. But remember don’t let them drag you down.

The moment you see that all the efforts you are making are futile it is time to drop back and minimize the contact so that you can preserve yourself, and your sanity.

Photos by Mollie Vaughan / Location: Brougham Street, Geelong

How to Cope With Toxic Family Members 1

Share the love please xoxo

Share this post

More on the blog

How to Cleanse & Charge Your Crystals

How to Start Dancing in Your 30s & 40s

TIPS ON STAYING INSPIRED

Saying Thank You Can Be Hard

Making The Most Of Unused Space In Your Home | Style & Life by Susana
Prev
Making The Most Of Unused Space In Your Home
My Battle With Severe Anxiety | Style & Life by Susana
Next
My Battle With Severe Anxiety

@Instagram

Mood // Be like @naomi, just be confident ❣ . . Mood // Be like @naomi, just be confident ❣
.
.
.
.
#tlsquad #thinlizzy #sundayvibes #geelongbusiness #geelongstyle #geelongblogger #likeforlikes #geelongfashion #styleblogger #australianblogger #portugueseblogger #geelong #melbourne #sydney #over30style #over40 #naomicampbell #over40andfabulous #discoverunder3k #discoverunder5k #aussieblogger #aussiesofinstagram #portuguesegirl #over40style #stylebysusana
Long long weekend self care ✔ . . . . #selfcare Long long weekend self care ✔
.
.
.
. 
#selfcarethreads #selfcareday #selfcare #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealing #mentalhealthsupport #geelongblogger #mentalhealthblogger #geelong #geelongstyle #geelongfashion #geelongsmallbusiness #gtstyle #blackandwhite #blackwhitephoto #followmelike #likemypost #discoverunder3k #discoverunder20k #skincareblogger #styleblogger #australianblogger #portugueseblogger #stylebysusana #boxingday2020 #boxingday
Mood I'm feeling '70s disco 🕺#disco #discofeve Mood  I'm feeling '70s disco 🕺#disco #discofever #70sfashion #70sstyle 
•
•
•
•
#geelong #geelongstyle #geelongblogger #geelongfashion #melbourne #girlbossesau #styleblogger #melbourneblogger #ootdpic  #bloggerstyle #aussieblogger #likes4likes #followme #styleblogger #australianblogger #30plusblogs #30plusstyle #40plusblogger #40plusstyle #40plusandfabulous #portugueseblogger #amadora #influencerstyle #discoverunder3k #kmartaus #kmartstyling
#mentalhealthsupport Remember, its OK (and a must #mentalhealthsupport  Remember, its OK (and a must) to take some "time out" for yourself. Your soul, your heart, your spirit needs to be rejuventated, cleansed, healed & energised. Take a break, take  the time.
•
•
• 
#supersoulsunday #mentalhealth #rubylanewatches #whoisrubylane #rubylane #mygtlife #geelong #geelongstyle #geelongblogger #discoverunder3k #stylebysusana #geelongfashion #styleinfluencer #fashionistastyle #over40style #over40andfabulous #over40blogger #itsoknottobeok
It's been a long time since I did an outfit shot & It's been a long time since I did an outfit shot & many of you know I suffer terribly from severe anxiety & depression. And for the past year, my self-esteem, self-confidence, self-belief has bungee jumped severely way way WAY downnnnnnnn low...!

I am at a constant inner war battle within myself, and my self worth. But today is the first step forward doing an outfit shot. 

Do I like this photo or outfit? Meh! 🤔 I am showing me in this present moment. A vulnerable, fragile and insecure me but one who is slowly, desperately: trying. And by doing that, I'm actually empowering my spirit & soul. By TRYING. I'm not, and will not allow my mental health issues to define, me. 

So, once upon a time I only wanted to show only the good photos that I liked to be shown on my blog/social media... I was afraid to show (reveal) my human flaws, my icky shots when I felt shitty, ugly, old(er), bloated, fragile (mental health) moments. Not anymore.

Today I make a conscious decision to show what the day is really like for me. In all its beauty: the good, the bad and the (OMG what was she thinking) ugly; but in all its glory. Its a positive day.

Outfit: turtle neck jumper from Kmart Australia , cargo tartan pants & knee high boots from PrettyLittleThing.com, handbag from Salvos Stores 

💫 

#mentalhealth #mentalwellness #geelong #geelongblogger #geelongblogger #geelongstyle  #geelongcreatives #portugueseblogger  #mentalhealthrecovery
Weekend self care ❤ • • • • Weekend self care ❤
•
•
•
•
Follow me on Instagram
  • Fashion
  • Beauty & Skincare
  • Product Reviews
  • Mental Health
  • Lifestyle
  • Pop Culture
Copyright © 2021 STYLE & LIFE BY SUSANA | FASHION & LIFESTYLE BLOGBack to Top
This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish.Accept Reject Read More
Privacy & Cookies Policy

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled

Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.

Non-necessary

Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.