There are six billion people in the world but remember there is only one YOU

Ever since I can remember I have always tried to keep up with the “cool kids” and dreamt about being the popular girl in school. I know that I’m not the only one who struggled with the same thing but ever since I was a kid in primary school, and even more so in high school, I was heavily picked on and bullied for being weird, a loner, obsessed with Prince and Madonna, a witch (apparently I had a witches laugh… SMH) and also because I had no tits (as flat chested as an ironing board I was in high school. LOL!). I tried for so very long to try to fit in and dress like the cool kids.

Even a couple of years ago, even still as an adult I would try to be like everyone else and be looking at all of the gorgeous bloggers and models, and try to copy the way they did their Instagram posts: the poses, the styling of the clothes, the flat lays… it all got to a point where I crashed and had to go off social media for a month to really look into my soul and finally face who I am, what is my style and love & accept my personality.

We now live in a world where more and more we are bombared with gorgeous images of celebrities and super models with the seemingly perfect life: fancy cars and clothes, money to through away and where apparently that is the goal to achieve in life. And if you’re not like that, well you’re nobody really.

It’s no wonder why so many people get more depressed and experience anxiety and mental health issues. I still go through moments where I still (unfortunately but not as much) compare myself to another blogger who is getting more likes, comments on every social media platform than me (seriously how can you not?), that I end up questioning myself and become my own worst critic.

I started to wish I was drop dead gorgeous, with a body to die for, with perfect teeth – basically just somebody everyone would want to know and hang out with…. I have stood in front of the mirror more times than I would like to admit, hating what I look like and just desperately wishing I was someone else.

style-and-life-by-susana
style-and-life-by-susana
style-and-life-by-susana
style-and-life-by-susana

When I took that month of social media, I sat back, looked at my clothes in my wardrobe, looked at all of the books, CD’s, DVD’s I have collected over the years, went over old photographs and had a deep look at who I am and realised, yes I am weird and eccentric, a tad out there with what I’m into but all in all, I think I’m a pretty cool awesome chick, with a unique style.

Sure I got into the blogging business a little later than others but I believe I have a unique voice and vision, and there is NO set age or time limit to have to achieve and follow your dreams.

I look at all the bloggers that I follow on Instagram and so many of them (no disrespect whatsoever to them – it works for them) are very similar in the way they post their photos, style and wear their clothes, the presentation of flat lays, the colour schemes of their feeds etc …basically they all (are a reflection) and resemble each other. And there is no way that I for one, can compete with that or even want to mirror the same style, it just doesn’t work in with my personality and nor do I want to lose who I am and be inside someone else’s vision.

Once I took that time off social media, I took away the pressure to have to compete to be like the popular gorgeous bloggers and decided to be me. It was like a weight had lifted off of my shoulders and the heaviness of the pressure (on myself) to want to be like someone else went away. I embraced… ME. Sure I don’t get excessive likes and comments like most of the bloggers do but I am proud to be different, slightly off centre as they say.

It is all me: all of the quirky, arty farty, creative, pop culture, 90’s supermodel poser wanna-be, raw story telling from my heart posts, are ME. I allowed my artistic vision and integrity to be incorporated into what I wanted to show on my posts on Instagram and on my blog.

I don’t want to be like every other fish in the sea, floating by in their large school group. I want to be that one fish, who probably has a bug eye popping out, with a spiky fin shorter than the other, looking abnormal but happy to be left behind the other fish while shaking my tail and singing out loud to Nsync’s classic song, ‘Bye Bye Bye’ instead of the latest generic Justin Bieber (sorry to all of the Beliebers out there!) song. I know a weird analogy, again that is me but I hope you get what I mean.

Why would I want to be another version of the same person, who is like that other person, who they are also like that other person and so and so on. Why be a duplicator, when you are an original?!

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying at all you cannot be inspired by anyone. Of course you can! I know I am!! You will always be inspired by someone or something, that it will resonate within your spirit and soul, it will help to discover further more about ourselves and open our eyes to the world on another level. But let me just say that there is a difference to being inspired than replicating (copying) another person.

style-and-life-by-susana
style-and-life-by-susana
style-and-life-by-susana

Be proud of the person who you are.

Own it!

Stand proud!

Be authentic and use that to grow and move ahead in life. Less time wishing to look like Kylie Jenner and more time on embracing the amazing and awesome you!

At the end of the day, in time people will respect, appreciate and respond more to you for being you’re own authentic self, staying true to who you are. So embrace it and use it to your advantage. You are beautiful and there is no one like you.

style-and-life-by-susana

OUTFIT I'M WEARING

Lace sleeveless top by H&M, boyfriend ripped jeans & lace-up heels by Zara, sunglasses by Mango and jewellery by Bijou Brigette

[ all pieces bought in Portugal]

style-and-life-by-susana
style-and-life-by-susana
                        Photography by Michelle Tulemija / location: Johnstone’s Park, GeelongAustralia
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Five Tips To Help You Get Through

I’ve learnt over time that life (or the universe) is constantly testing us, to see how strong we are by throwing us dodge balls every so often just to see how flexible we are by teaching us lessons, time and time again.

Staying motivated and upbeat 24/7 is freaking hard to do and when life decides to test you out or have a little fun with you by throwing those curve balls at you every so often, that soon enough over time you start to believe that nothing seems to be going your way. After a while you do start to believe that it wasn’t meant to be easy for you and you feel that is how you’re meant to be living your life: dodging those curve balls that you start to accept that as a way of life for you.

Generally I like to think of myself as a pretty happy and positive person. Now granted over the past few years, being on the roller coaster ride of IVF that has not always been made possible, which in turn flared up my anxiety – but I have bad days just like everyone else. Sometimes I think stress brings them on and I just want to scream at everyone, I get really anxious and jittery and break down crying, feeling so lost and alone. Other times I get a flat, empty feeling that for no reason and just get very tearful. But that’s life. I’m human. We are all human.

I know that when life gets so heavy and I feel like I’m drowning, I tend to forget things I should be focusing on and remembering, and only focus on things that I shouldn’t and remember things that really do nothing good for me.

So here are some good reminders for those bad days when you need a little extra reminding:

HOW TO GET THROUGH WHEN YOU’RE HAVING A BAD DAY

#1 YOU are OK. It might be a little shitty right now but you are a little bit more stronger each day

Remember you are OK. I hate to state the obvious and we all hate it when someone says you: ‘There a people out there a lot more worse thank you. You should be thankful”. Now as much as we all hate hearing that and in your mind, you have given them the evil eye look and you know what? It’s OK to be selfish for that moment and think what you are going through, is the worst – you are human.  You have survived another day and you are stronger today than you were yesterday, even though you don’t you think or feel that you are.

I know with my own self, my mind is my own worst enemy. I create such crazy thoughts in my head and misinterpret things that people say to me (yes husband, I am acknowledging you here 😉  and text messages, emails are THE worst) and create such wild scenarios in my head that just are NOT even close to existing when I’m in a bad mood or on a downward spiral.

I know that after a  while of feeling so down on myself, I remember that I have a purpose in my life – I have dreams and goals I want to achieve. I always go back to a particular moment in my life when I was 9 years old, and I was at swimming lessons held my school where I got severely teased by a group of kids because they could see I didn’t know how to swim. I turned that painful moment into a goal, a challenge and by the next couple of lessons I proved them wrong. I didn’t give in.

So don’t give up and please don’t give in – and above all, don’t let the darkness cloud your mind and soul.  The sun is always shining on some part of your beautiful life.  Sometimes you just have to forget how you feel, remember what you deserve, and keep pushing forward.

Keep in mind that we all (to put it bluntly) fuck up every so often. We really need to stop being so hard on ourselves, and stop blaming ourselves for when things go wrong. It can be a case when we have let people take advantage of our beautiful natural and we think we deserve less than we really deserve.  But you need to remember that sometimes we have at point in our lives given others less than they deserve.  Two wrongs don’t make a right. It can be a case of letting our priorities and our boundaries get overtaken by the emotional destruction of the day.

Just remember that somehow amongst all the heartache and mind fucks, we do learn from our emotional breakdowns, and even though there are some things we can never recover, and people who will never apologize or acknowledge that they were wrong for letting you down etc, we now know better for next time.  The power is in our hands, minds and hearts.

#2 Nothing is permanent. It won’t always be this way

I have moments when I can get really down on myself and beat myself up, and get into a dark place. Sometimes when the day is really dark, it can be hard so to see any sort of light, but you really have to try.  True warrior strength (I believe in that we are all warriors – stronger than we really think) comes when you have cried as much as humanly possible (anyone else have an ugly face cry? I seriously do) and you’ve complained so much but yet somehow a rainbow in your soul appears and you start to smile and appreciate your life instead.

I know its so hard to see at that moment but there are so many blessings hidden in every struggle you face, but you need to be willing to open up your heart and your mind to see them.  Don’t force it, because really you’re not ready. You’re only going to drive yourself crazy from trying.  A moment in time will appear out of the blue and you will have let it go.  Let go and let what’s meant to be, just be. Stand as strong as you can – it’s going to pass.

#3 You can’t control it – stop worrying

The greatest thing my husband has ever said to me, apart from the obvious (‘I love you’) has been, ‘you can’t control it – stop worrying’. Those six words, literally changed my life.

Don’t get me wrong I still worry but I now don’t obsess over it. I just need to remind myself of those words and they help me tremendously. The basic root of our suffering during all the difficult times is worry. We worry about what’s going to happen next and imagining the most extreme , if not the most ridiculous scenarios (and I can tell you I am the queen of that!! Bah!). It’s all in our minds, our very imaginative minds. We sometimes make ourselves mentally sick and if not, physically sick for worrying more than we really need to. Like my husband, says  – ‘You can’t control it – stop worrying’. At least try not to don’t obsess on it – let us focus on the here and now and not try to predict the future. I will, if you will.

#4 Be a little kinder to yourself

We all need to be our own best friend and treat ourselves with a little extra tender love and care. We need to accept WHO WE ARE and celebrate that. Just know and please believe, that you are that fucking fabulous and worth it babe!

Like I said earlier on, I can be my own worst enemy and think the worst of myself but when that rainbow of light finally makes its way in, I realise how silly (OK then, stupid) I’ve been and can see that even though I have my flaws, I’m pretty fabulous. So tell me why shouldn’t you treat yourself with love and respect – you know that YOU deserve it.

Just know that the better you feel about YOU, the more value you are able going to create for your world.  If you can’t do a lot for yourself right now the just try to do a little – it will add up, and seriously all help and get you pointed in a much more positive direction.

#5 Stay positive

I know personally know the hardest thing is to stay positive when its so much easier to assume the worst and think negative. When I allow my emotions to spiral out control and fall into a downward spiral, I sometimes believe that the world is out to get me or that someone has put a spell on me (that’s for another post, another me – I ain’t joking). But in time I slowly remember (and get myself grounded again) that no one can fix me, except for myself.

There are going to be bad days that will fuck you up emotionally and mentally, but how you see things and how you feel are all in your control. Don’t let any of the bad stuff ruin or stop you.

Remember, that when you let a bad day get the best of you, its going to shoot you down mentally, emotionally and sometimes, even physically (also remember the mind is amazingly powerful) and those negative emotions end up flowing into every single part of your life like a bad virus. So change your mindset and you may shock yourself at what happens. It won’t happen straight away and it will take some time, but you will see developments.

Massive hugs to anyone of you who are going through a bad day/and or time. I am there with you by your side xoxo

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Written by: Elise Morgan

In the era of modern social networks like Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook etc, it’s all about our exterior. Especially since all of the celebrities decided to get on the bandwagon to get closer to their fans.

We are now seeing the most expensive and trendy outfits every minute of every hour, and it all somehow stays deeply in our subconscious. We are trying as much as we possibly can to always look like we are going to meet our exes, but why we are doing it is the thing that really matters.

Clothes Actually DO Make The Man

As bad as this may sound, it is the clear truth. And no, this doesn’t refer to who you are as a person, it reflects on how you feel. When you look at yourself in the mirror wearing a sloppy hoodie and a pyjama bottoms, while your hair is all greasy and tied into a bun on the middle of your head, you just feel… Bad. Then, the most common thing that happens is that your girlfriends invite you to go to the cinema or to hangout in café, and you decline their invitation because your appearance affected your mood earlier and you don’t feel like going anywhere. As logic would have it, they will then probably get mad and your day will end up worse than it was in the first place.
Now, on the other hand, when you decide to let go of your laziness, put on some makeup, a nice hairstyle and a groovy cocktail dress just to go for a walk with your besties, you will feel like a million-dollar babe.

It is clear that once you put on a certain item of clothing, you will automatically adopt some of its characteristics without even realizing. Did you also notice how, when you are into girly outfits you are in a full-Barbie like girl mood, and once you put on your black jeans and a black leather jacket with biker boots you are all into that: “don’t mess with me” mood?

Trends vs Sexpectations

Now, the trends are probably our biggest problem . When we are engaging in a certain trend, or buy a particular item of clothing, we are automatically sending a vibe to the world that we now belong to that special club of people who know all about fashion. After all, the fashion industry completely relies on OTHER PEOPLE’S OPINIONS, except when it comes to men’s vision of women’s clothing.

As a person who owns a computer, has internet access and a smart phone, you are surely aware that women’s fashion has changed completely over the last few years. The fashion has officially became gender neutral, which is great if you ask me and FINALLY OH MY GOD!

We now have oversized sweaters, hoodies and jackets, shapeless tops, baggy high waisted jeans (YAY!) etc, all in all “zero exposure clothing” (which is also great because, you know, why should everybody have insight into your curves and your overall body, right?). Of course, our dear men are not satisfied with this at all. Some even claim that women don’t even look like women anymore.

This leads us to the major question: “Is there any rule on how to look like a woman? Because this morning I actually checked to if I’m still a woman and who would’ve known, my breasts and my lady bits were still attached to my body. Do you have some sort of, ‘How To Look Like A Woman’ book to sell or…?”

On a serious note now, what is it with these sexpectations? Do I need to break my ribs in a corset and bind my legs in a pencil skirt while teetering on my toes around all day in a pair of high stilettos? Hello 17th century!

They claim that they like girls that are natural, but when you get in front of them with your ‘natural’ appearance, they will tell you that you are sloppy, unfeminine and that you don’t care about how you look.

If, on the other hand, you go for that overall polished look and use little bit more makeup they will tell you that you’re vain and arrogant.

Basically, the only way we could please men would probably be walking down the streets in our lingerie or even, naked.

What I want to say is, of course, you can’t please everyone and it is your choice how are you going to look, but the most important thing is that you are satisfied in your own skin.

If you feel attractive when you wear a satin dresses for example, wear them every day and everywhere if you want. If you feel attractive in trendy garments (you go girl, get that Kylie Jenner and Kim Kardashian vibe!) which are allegedly non-feminine (boo-hoo) – then go for it!

The world is always going to judge, but the one opinion that matters, is an opinion of a person who stares at you from your mirror (and your mommy of course). Stay trendy, and more importantly, stay loyal to yourself – xoxo.

Do you care what other people think of what you wear? And do you dress to impress others, or yourself?

Elise xx  

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Ready to meet your matcha?

OK, first of all – I’m not trying to initiate a fight club or drag you guys into a dual 😀 …what #meetyourmatcha is basically a superfood green tea that is an all-natural, premium, two-step green tea detox that uses a combo of organic, premium Matcha powder and Sencha powder.

This is what the detox program offers:

  • Increased and sustained energy
  • Ongoing support for your metabolism
  • Very high levels of chlorophyll to aid in detoxification
  • 137 x more antioxidants than traditional steeped teas to support your body’s natural repair systems
  • 100% natural, vegan and pure organic
  • No fillers, no additives and no laxatives.

When I first started my review of this product, I was at first a tad apprehensive. I mean, how many products are there on the market that claim to help you lose weight, curb your appetite and give you energy. Well, I first started drinking this over a week and a bit ago and I can safely say with most certainty that after three days, I surprisingly noticed a-lot more energy, my sleeping was a lot more restful (I have struggled with getting a good peaceful night of sleep since my father passed away a few years ago) and the bloatiness in my tummy, well – its not as buddha-like. Haha!

Now there are two packets – one is for first thing in the morning which is Boost Matcha and the other is for the afternoon, the Cleanse Sencha. To get the maximum and best results, you do need to do this for 28 days.

Boost Matcha (Matcha Green Tea):

Take this packet in the morning. What this one does, is that it gives your metabolism a good awesome kick in the bum, burns calories and you get sustained, all day energy. YAY!

Cleanse Sencha* (Sun-grown, stone-ground Sencha powder):

Take this packet in the afternoon. And what this one does, is that it will detox and cleanse your body and give, and replenish your body with so many amazing antioxidants.

* Sencha is a type of Japanese ryokucha (green tea) which is prepared by infusing the processed whole tea leaves in hot water. It is the most popular tea in Japan. For this the sencha is grounded into powder and provides a greater amount of vitamin C and vitamin E.

How Do You Use It:

You only need 1/2 a teaspoon of the powder and you add a splash of hot water and mix it into a paste, after that add hot or cold water. Now, I am going to be completely honest but for me, and I say for me – it tasted awful. But I sucked it up like a big girl and sculled it down. There was no gross after taste, luckily haha! The next day, I actually decided to add organic coconut water and that helped a-lot for me. But every so often, I have drunk it with just cold water and I don’t notice the ‘acquired’ taste of it as much now.

TEN AMAZING BENEFITS OF MATCHA:

  1. Increases and lifts your energy levels
  2. High in antioxidants
  3. Improves appearance of skin
  4. Promotes a more restful sleep
  5. Boosts concentration and enhances focus
  6. Boots immune system
  7. Detoxifies
  8. Cleanses the body
  9. Stimulates metabolism
  10. Lowers cholesterol

We are now living in a world, where we are all heading towards a more natural way of living and eating, and that even means more herbal supplements and natural foods are arriving to the shelves of our grocery stores everyday. Matcha provides a lot more health benefits than what green tea has as it’s more potent and versatile (you can even add the tea powder to your foods!).

This is one product that I definitely will continue on taking, as I’ve found my energy levels have definitely increased, I’m a-lot more alert and focused and my sleep has been so much better (yes!). Also, my little Buddha belly isn’t as pronounced now but I think the drop in weight will happen over a month of consistently taking it.

I highly recommend this product and with it began, non-GMO and dairy & cruelty free and having all so many amazing antioxidants makes it a product that’s worth looking into it with its proven benefits.

 

Do you suffer from a lack of energy and alertness, and struggle to focus? Would this be a product you would consider trying out?

 

* Post in collaboration with Matcha Machine on behalf of Goodie Box. All opinions are my own.

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Sometimes life can get you so down that music is the best therapy you can have’

Sometimes there are certain things in life can that really can bring you down to a point that you think there is only sadness and negativity surrounding you 24/7 that you just accept it as a way of life.

Since starting IVF a few years ago I would go through waves of deep painful sadness either because a cycle hasn’t worked for me or when I’d see other people around me falling pregnant so easily and having babies (don’t get me wrong I am incredibly happy for them; it’s just can be so hard for me just because I want to experience that too) or just because things in life are just getting too overwhelming, too stressed and hard, that when I would find that I was starting to get down and I would turn to music. Somehow, music has such a way of speaking to your heart and mind, that it really bring you back to life. Bring that funky groove back into your spirit.

Music has such a way of speaking and connecting to our souls, that a certain song can just instantly change the way you are feeling, from dark to light, a song can just inspire you at that very moment. Music just soothes your soul and can heal your heart. It is the one miracle that sometimes can cure whatever you are going through. For me, music is just that… it is my salvation.

Here are a few songs that I listen to when I feel like I am having moments of disparity, sadness, heartache, insecurity and/or uncertainty. Everyone has that one song that just brings that flamboyant sparkle right back into my spirit and just invigorates your very soul.

Tell me about you’re favourite music or a particular song (or artist) that just makes you feel better and that helps you at particular times.

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